This rubbed me the wrong way- people in the family for decades are family. I understand the pain and that in laws largely should not be taking prominent roles, but I do wonder if you will reflect back later and not agree with your own opinion. When my grandmother died, the family all sat together. Siblings and spouses. They made decisions as groups and it was largely peaceful. I can’t imagine saying “you’ve had decades of time with them, but it doesn’t count.”

All the same, everyone handles things differently. I’m sorry for your loss.